This Wisdom Tool is designed to be used with information in these posts:

1. Reparenting and Loving Yourself (1.5) with the Shema, Blessing and 8 C’s of IFS principles
2. Wisdom Tool: McGill’s 48 additional strategies to get the most from the 8 C’s of IFS (1.5 – Loving Yourself version)

Use these 48 strategies in conjunction with the “Reparenting and Loving Yourself (1.5) with the Shema, Blessing and 8 C’s of IFS principles” (#1 above), and the “Wisdom Tool: McGill’s 48 additional strategies (#2 above) to enhance your ability to Reparent yourself via Recalibrated Wisdom. 

These strategies are provided to assist the wisest and healthiest part of yourself to recalibrate, “rebirth,” regenerate, reclaim, renew and reward yourself by creating, maintaining and enjoying Earned Secure Attachment and Attunement solutions within yourself!

48 strategies to get the most from the 8 C’s of IFS (1.5 behaviors to Love Yourself)

Calmness: Cultivating a sense of peace and centeredness in your Self

1. Schedule “quiet time” to decompress from a busy day.
2. Take a walk in nature to ground yourself and clear your mind, or…
3. …Visualize a peaceful place where you feel secure and relaxed.
4. Practice deep breathing to reduce anxiety and re-center yourself.
5. Repeat affirmations like, “I am safe, and I can handle this.”
6. Set boundaries with others to protect your emotional well-being.

Clarity:  Understanding your thoughts, emotions, and intentions clearly

1. Revisit past events to understand how they shaped your current responses.
2. Use journaling to untangle complex thoughts and emotions.
3. Seek to understand how your parts communicate through feelings or behaviors.
4. Identify and name the emotions you’re experiencing.
5. Identify your values and align your actions with what matters most.
6. Ask, “What do I truly want in this situation?” before acting.

Curiosity: Being open and interested in your inner world w/o judgment

1. Reflect on how childhood experiences may have shaped your current behaviors.
2. Create a “mind map” of different parts of yourself and their roles.
3. Journal about your feelings to explore what they’re trying to tell you.
4. Ask your inner parts questions like, “Why are you feeling this way?”
5. Observe patterns in your reactions without labeling them as “good” or “bad.”
6. Try to understand the positive intentions behind self-critical thoughts.

Compassion: Treating yourself with kindness and understanding

1. Place your hand on your heart and say, “I won’t abandon you.”
2. Speak to yourself as you would to a hurt child: “It’s okay, I’m here for you.”
3. Listen to your inner critic and respond with empathy rather than anger.
4. Pause and remind: “This feeling will pass, and I’ll support myself through it.”
5. Practice loving-kindness: Send yourself wishes like, “May I be safe.”
6. Forgive yourself for mistakes, acknowledging that you were doing your best.

Courage: Facing fears and challenges while staying grounded in your Self

1. Allow yourself to feel vulnerable, knowing it’s part of being courageous.
2. Confront painful memories with compassion and curiosity.
3. Reflect on past instances where you acted courageously, no matter how small.
4. Speak up for yourself in situations where you feel unheard.
5. Set and enforce boundaries even when it feels uncomfortable.
6. Seek support from trusted people when facing difficult situations.

Confidence: Trusting yourself and your ability to manage life’s challenges

1. Remind yourself of past successes to boost your sense of capability.
2. Practice self-affirmations like, “I can handle whatever comes my way.”
3. Use your strengths intentionally in daily tasks.
4. Seek to learn from mistakes rather than fearing them.
5. Stand up for your needs and boundaries, even when it feels uncomfortable.
6. Write down evidence that counters self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy.

Creativity: Thinking outside the box to find new perspectives or solutions

1. Rearrange your living space to reflect calm and positivity.
2. Write a letter from one of your inner parts to better understand its perspective.
3. Reimagine past experiences with a positive or empowering outcome.
4. Brainstorm multiple ways to approach a current challenge.
5. Create vision boards to represent your goals and aspirations.
6. Envision/implement new “hero’s journey” outcomes for your Parts/Self!

Connectedness: Fostering belonging and meaning in self and relationships

1. Schedule regular “check-ins” with yourself to assess your emotional needs.
2. Engage in self-reflection to connect with your values and aspirations.
3. Spend time connecting with supportive friends or family members.
4. Practice active listening to deepen relationships.
5. Practice empathy by imagining the perspective of someone else.
6. Reach out to someone you trust when you’re struggling.

Thanks for reading this excerpt from Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life. As time permits, please visit the other blogs written by Dr. Ken McGill: Daily Bread for Life and “3–2- 5–4–24” for additional information that could be helpful.