What follows are 13 wise and “quick reference” suggestions and strategies to strengthen your Self, and regain trust, balance, harmony and empowerment with your Internal Family System parts. These strategies are best used in conjunction with content in these two posts about Reparenting your Self:

1. Reparenting and Loving Yourself (1.5) with the Shema, Blessing and 8 C’s of IFS principles

2. Reparenting and Loving Others (2.0) with the Shema, Blessing and 8 C’s of IFS principles

As always, I wish you the very best in your Self-Care effort!

“I-N-S-P-I-R-E M-Y-S-E-L-F”

I: Invite your parts into the Safe place you’ve created for them. Let them know they’re always welcome, and this sacred space assists you to be fully present!

N: “Interview” them, and be curious and compassionate about their role, and all of the thoughts, feelings, and needs they have. Listen intently to their story.

S: As the Self, share your responsibility: You’ll work for your parts to be Safe, Seen, Soothed and Secure, and that you have resources to accomplish this.

P: Be patient but persistent in your focus to “find and flesh out” the feelings, fears and functions of your parts. Listen to see what they’re trying to achieve.

I: Inquire to discover what your “Exiled” parts are feeling, and which parts are wounded, and hold shame, pain, hurt and rage from being rejected, abused, terrorized or traumatized.

R: Reassure them and express gratitude for how they tried to protect you from hurt, trauma and pain, but explain you’re capable, and here to help them.

E: “Inspire” and collaborate with them, demonstrating calmness, courage, compassion, and curiosity, to create the very best experiences for all of You!

M: Mindfully focus on the present moment and use other regulation tools to reduce emotional reactivity and enhance your self-awareness. Your “Self” awareness helps you to “unblend” (versus merging) with your parts.

Y: YADA your Self (#4)! YADA is the Hebrew word for Knowledge, and Respect and Intimate are also rooted in its meaning. YADA infers the use of perception, discernment, recognition, insight and other “Flavors of Wisdom” to know yourself, and to use this information to make good, sound and wise decisions.

S: Spirituality: Enlighten your Self by connecting with a loving God who guides and gives you the necessary attributes for you to live spiritually fit! Which of the spiritual disciplines are helpful for you to feel alive, focused, fit and free?

E: Empower your Self! Schedule daily time to apply the 8C’s of IFS (Calmness, Clarity, Curiosity, Compassion, Courage, Confidence, Creativity and Connectedness) and McGill’s 8C’s (Consciousness, Care, Current, Choice, Collaboration, Communication, Celebration and Christ) who, as a wise human being is guiding your internal system toward healing!

L: Love your Self!: Use your P-T-A Tool to Pause, Think then Act to deliver “The 18” to yourself: Love, Esteem, Cherish, Respect, Favor, Honor, Acceptance, Prize, Relish, Devotion, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control for your personal and relational benefit!

F: Focus for Your Future: Ask your Self these 4 questions each day: (a) Who am I? (b) What is my purpose? (c) How do I want to live? (d) What legacy do I want to leave behind? 

Thanks for reading this excerpt from “Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life.” As time permits, please visit the other blogs written by Dr. Ken McGill: Daily Bread for Life and “3–2- 5–4–24” for additional information that could be helpful.