This Wisdom Tool is designed to be used with information in these posts:
- Reparenting and Loving Yourself (1.5) with the Shema, Blessing and 8 C’s of IFS principles
- Wisdom Tool: 48 strategies to get the most from the 8 C’s of IFS (1.5 – Loving Yourself version)
Use these 48 strategies in conjunction with the “Reparenting and Loving Yourself (1.5) with the Shema, Blessing and 8 C’s of IFS principles” (#1 above), and the “Wisdom Tool: 48 strategies (#2 above) to enhance your ability to Reparent yourself via Recalibrated Wisdom.
These strategies are provided to assist the wisest and healthiest part of yourself to recalibrate, “rebirth,” regenerate, reclaim, renew and reward yourself by creating, maintaining and enjoying Earned Secure Attachment and Attunement solutions within yourself!
McGill’s 48 additional strategies to get the most from the 8 C’s of IFS (1.5 behaviors to Love Yourself)
Consciousness: Creating awareness of thoughts and feelings to cultivate healing
1. Pause throughout the day and ask: What am I feeling right now and why?
2. Practice mindfulness meditation to observe your thoughts without judgment.
3. Pay attention to your quiet inner voice and act with wisdom when prompted.
4. Commit to make conscious and deliberate choices versus automatic reactions.
5. Journal daily to reflect and learn about the reasons behind your actions.
6. Ask: Did my actions align with my values today? Any need for improvement?
Care: Intentional actions to promote understanding, healing, respect and health
1. Care for your heart by being kind, compassionate and understanding of you!
2. Care for your soul by living peacefully, purposefully and with intent.
3. Care for your physical health with adequate food, hydration, rest and exercise!
4. Care for your mind by replacing self-critical with self-affirming thoughts.
5. Care for your sexuality by honoring this sacred, enjoyable and sensual activity!
6. Care for your spirit by engaging in daily activities to feel safe, valued and loved
Current: Awareness of your thoughts, feelings and actions w/o past or future
1. Focus on keeping your mind and feelings exactly where your feet are.
2. When thoughts move to derail you, remind them you’re safe and I am enough.
3. Ask: Is this feeling about now, or am I stuck in the past or anxious about tmrw?
4. Remind yourself: My feelings make sense given my current circumstances.
5. Take in the sunlight you feel, the tea and its flavor, and the sounds of children!
6. Create some “Post-Its” to remind you to regulate now, be here, and be present.
Choice: Exercising your ability to think then decide to do the next right thing
1. Identify your core values and live by them; you’ll be glad that you did!
2. Use your energy wisely, and practice being curious, open, accepting and loving.
3. Be therapeutic by giving yourself any appropriate care and attention you need.
4. Practice Equality/Empowerment: Be responsible, think of options and negotiate.
5. Ask: Is my response healthy and healing for me, or reactive and harmful?
6. Choose wisely! Let your values, inner compass and discernment guide you!
Collaboration: Trusting yourself and your ability to manage life’s challenges
1. Create a safe inner place for dialogue and reassure your parts they are not alone.
2. Build trust with your internal parts and speak to them with kindness and respect.
3. Acknowledge each parts positive intentions but set healthy boundaries too!
4. Negotiate with Managers to relax control; Calm Firefighters before reacting.
5. Validate Exiles pain and sadness and help them to release burdens from the past.
6. Guide your parts toward shared goals and teach them to coexist peacefully.
Communication: Approaching vulnerability with warmth, strength and openness
1. Invite your parts to share memories openly, and express gratitude for their effort.
2. Clarify what’s going on inside by asking “What do I truly need right now?”
3. Support self-expression of your parts and be present and attentive to their needs.
4. Enter discussions about painful memories with curiosity and compassion.
5. Replace any harsh self-talk with positive and respectful affirmations.
6. Address shame with understanding and model forgiveness for parts and others.
Celebration: Your response to the work you’ve done to recalibrate your wisdom
1. Celebrate the fact you’ve said yes for your self-care and no to draining activity!
2. Celebrate inner harmony and small successes within your inner family system!
3. Affirm and remind yourself you are learning and growing wiser each day!
4. Reimagine past experiences with a positive or empowering outcome!
5. Celebrate yourself by finding ways to intentionally use your gifts with others!
6. Post-It time: Record and post 3 things you appreciate about yourself daily!
Christ: Developing the mind and habits of the person I wish to be like each day
1. Help me to grow wisely and create the best plans and outcomes for myself.
2. Enhance my intuition, discernment, and my ability to hear my Self and my parts.
3. Give love and acceptance to my parts, because I’m learning how to live wisely.
4. Help me to be aware of, read, and adjust my 68 – 72-degree target chart daily.
5. Lead me to connect with good people who love and care for me simply because!
6. “Always, always, always remember I will love the child and adult that you are!”
Thanks for reading this excerpt from Cultivating Love: Wisdom for Life. As time permits, please visit the other blogs written by Dr. Ken McGill: Daily Bread for Life and “3–2- 5–4–24” for additional information that could be helpful.
drkenmcgill.com 